im hurt

I never though i would be in this position again.Curled up in the corner of my room,covered in my blanket and talking to someone to calm my feelings down. After my last love i thought i was in love again but i was mistaken.This was more hurtful. I never use to word love for you...i just liked you.Being with you made me feel so happy and relieved.When u hug me i felt your warm arms around me.I felt safe and did not want to let go off you.Maybe i was just fantasying you too much.You gave me the first experience every girl thinks its special to them.As i said...its just an experience.I did not know you would hurt me in such away that i actually think you cant afford such words.That's how much i think of you....then i had to turn down offers,awaiting for your declare.I was just learning the art of love. Hearing about you from your friend just crushed me into pieces.That word your said to him about me is just so painful. I was so angry with you that i felt like crying but i could not cause i had no tears to cry for you.I felt like shouting but i could not. Maybe I'm sick and tired of crying for you guys.I know you for 4 years, i know what type of person you are but i let you in,thinking miracles could happen but now i know its hard to change you. I don't know who to trust.Maybe your friend is lying, no one knows.I just want to speak to you, pour out what i feel,my anger, my sadness, my feelings and just hear your explanation from your own mouth.Make you feel guilty for your actions.Your such a fool of a took.But you never take things seriously.I woke up this morning feeling so happy and thinking I'm not stupid.I started laughing. There is nothing i can do now but just get over you.I never regret doing it to you.You gave me an experience that made me fell in love with you.Yesterday i was full with anger that if i had the chance to meet you i would just kill you.But today, when if i look at you, I'm just going to smile and say,' as ta la vista...i had a good time but I'm not cheap..you cant control me.'Scolding you and advising you is such a waste of time.I'm just going to do my part and move on for i never regret my past.My past helps me in future.So you, your my past. Thanks for everything.....

i dont know whether i love you

It has been a very long time since I've loved someone. That i even forget the feeling of falling in love. I had crushes here and there, but being a player, accepting and declining was the main purpose. First you approve but sooner or later the love fades away you reject him.But now after the certain incident i couldn't forget him. He makes my heart beat so fast.He makes me laugh.He makes me want to fight with him over small things. He makes me do things i couldn't bare doing it in thousand years time. He makes me feel...feel...in love. I don't know whether it will stay for long for my love for someone fades away fast. He likes me...i think. I like him...i think. But we don't show it publicly but among us sparks ignite.Felt like pouring me feelings to him but if i do that i don't think it will last long. Playing a fool with him now is better than being in a serious relationship where commitments are needed.I cant afford that.For my feelings a wild and wonders around. You make things complicating...for every time you make me feel that you need me but you don't do anything about it. Well i understand for i am doing the same to you. Maybe we like the fooling around because we are deeply hurt or been hurt before. I cant imagine saying that i love you for i know i have no rights to say such strong words in such a young age. For i know now...i just like fooling around with you .