unexpected

This year Christmas eve, i will never forget it.I was sitting in the hall anxiously, clasping her hand, gasping for breath, waiting for my results.Waiting for my name to be called.But it didn't.I did not cry.I don't know why.Speechless.Thinking what did i get.Was it really bad.My mind full of horror.All my other friends was on the stage crying out their tears of joy and hugging each other.The only think i could think about was i suppose to be there among them. I waited for my results. I was waiting in the line for my results.The teacher called up my name.Felt i choked a hairball. I saw the results. I saw the 'b'.Only 1 'B'.What subject could it be?? will i be in science stream??When i saw the subject, i burst into tears, hugged my friend.Her shoulder was covered with my tears. I spoke up. 6A'S 1B...GEOGRAPHY. i couldn't believe it. I did not know why i was crying for.My feeling was complicating.It was a mixture feeling.I was happy i did not get worse than that but upset it was for the easiest subject i got B for.The only subject that it could turn and make it a fantastic 7.I carried on my day by showing my happy face but deep in side i was feel with guilt.I couldn't talk properly to my parents nor my friends, afraid they would see my unhappy face with tears trolling down.I have to face it. Everyone was happy for me and congratulating me. I just smiled and try convincing them I'm happy with it. I could have done better.I would never forget this Christmas eve that gave lots of thinking to me.Happy and sad. It was unexpected. Next week, is new year.A new beginning for everything.Hope it makes a difference in my life as my results did.

karma

Now its happening again. I still remember when i was standard 6 anxiously waiting for my UPSR results.Filled with butterflies in my tummy.Waiting patiently for my name to be called in the 5A's list. Everything seemed slow, afraid i would lose my name.Then my worries went off when i heard my name echoing.I couldn't believe it.The only thing i i could hear was my heart beat when i was receiving my result slip.All my hard work had been repaid. For months waiting for the results just shattered away in one day and in one call.Tears gliding down my cheeks.Tears of joy i recall.Walking down the stage,people clapping and cheering,waiting for their names to be called.Now I'm sitting here typing my past after few years back.Will i experience the same karma again?? will my name be called out? will i cry? tears of joy? sadness or happiness?? By this time tomorrow i will be celebrating Christmas eve,but will it be the way i wanted, the way i hope and desire for.Tomorrow at 10 am i will know my results.I just want to experience the same thing i experienced before.I know its going to end fast but i wish i could stop time. To just feel the way i want to feel now and not to worry tomorrow. I wont be able to close my eyes and dream. The fear will just remain in my heart till dawn.All i want for Christmas is the amount of A's that will haunt me forever, the number 7. The joy and happiness i could give to myself and my family.Not feeling guilty for all my actions.Not feeling a burden.I'm just asking for a Christmas miracle.I believe God wont let me down.please karma....do repeat.

friendship can never be past

The phone rang.Thinking who will possibly be calling at this hour.The number seems very familiar.Her voice seems really different.It sounds as though she has been crying.I tried my best not to ask whether she was crying.She was just asking random question about our meet.Then she burst out the drama that happen few days ago.I stood there speechless. I knew such thing would happen to her but it never acquired in my mind that it will be this soon. She admitted she cried and knew partially it was her fault.It happen so fast that she could still remember the exact words that had ended her friendship with her special someone that matter's to her a lot. The kind of friendship that can be called past,present and future.Now it just remains as history. She told me what happened and she even read that special someone's blog to me. I couldn't believe it because the words that was written in that particular blog was true and i think she deserves to feel that way.We were still on the phone recapping what will happen.She said that it sounded so serious that it will be forever.She was worried and foolish over her action.She was asking ways in what shall she do.I was thinking hard and i had plenty of ideas but nothing seems reasonable. The only thing she could give that special someone now is just space and time for her to think.Im disappointed in both of them.I didn't really had the chance to talk to this special someone but i knew their friendship was strong and i was grateful and i respected them. Now they are not one anymore. I would say its both of their mistakes. The special someone should have known her character from the very beginning.That what kind of person she was that made her become her true friend.You cant tell her to change because that is her and you liked her for who she is.And you my friend you should have been more considerate and more caring towards her for she was always there for you.You should have been there for here as she would for you. Even though you had a new friend that cares for you.No one will care more than your friends.I did tell you before that this chaos would happen sooner or later.You were not precaution enough.So i would say its was both of you who ruin your friendship.I was proud of you but not im shattered away by your acts.Friendship can never be perfect but you have to give and take, not just cut the friendship chain off.Its how coward both of you are.I hope both of you would read this post and make a difference.You can never forget your past.....please think about it.