will miss it for sure

Weeks of practicing , now I'm feel of boredom. Ldds drama I'm missing you. When i first saw you i felt i made a mistake but now i will never regret it.It was my first experience.Acting is my passion where i cannot play my own life role but imitate someone else and speak as an actress.I'm not me in the role. The laughter we had during practices.Not to mention the fights we were in.Ldds was filled with dramatic exposures. It was fun working with the rest.New characters and people i met all from different backgrounds which brought us along. The sweat and time we put in was precious. Last minute changes that brought us doubts.On the day of act, everything paid off well. The audience filled the hall with laughter and clasps then made us stand strong.We did not one this to be our last play so we worked hard to prove that this tradition will be carried in future.So it will be in years. People trespassing cheered us and gave us word of courage.A memory that will last forever. I will miss it for sure.....

Just walk away

I still remember every moment we were together.Like a fantasy.So call true love at that moment.It has already been a year.Still i cherish it because your the first guy who made me cry.I thought i had everything..a perfect guy..to share my laughter.Now your laughing in the hands of a another woman. I still remember how you proposed...you made my heart stop.You asked to couple i said no..we will wait.Now i regret it. We had a whole month with our sweet talk.I still remember calling you darling and you refer me as sweetheart.Then the day came when you told you had problems with yourself.Too scared you would hurt me that you said we cant be together anymore.That words made my fantasy stop and made me realize that this is life.I let you go.....
We did not talk for months...then few months later you messaged me.I was happy thinking you wanted me back but no....You said you have split personality and you needed my help because you had another girl that you did not want to hurt her too.But darling...why dint you leave her like you did to me??Too many questions in my head that i ignored and continued helping you to find your way.For you said that i was the only one to cure your problem.I did not help you but i helped that girl.I did not want that girl to experience what i felt.Now i feel i have been so good to people that they do not even care how i feel. You only spoke to me when you needed help.You were begging me but not hard enough because you know i will help.You know me well...When your problem was solved you did not care to say thanks. When u broke my heart...when you were the one who gave me that heart you did not dare to say sorry. Yes you did after few months of ignorance. Your an animal with brains but not with a heart...that's for sure. Now you speak to me like a simple stranger.I use to love talking to you, now i hate seeing your face and shadow. Today when you saw me the first thing you said was " you still alive??". I did the most courageous thing i have never done in my life, i just walked away. I have no interest in talking to a beast. That's what I'm going to do in future...I'm just going to walk away from you like you walk away from my heart.

days without you....

In this post I'm going to sound a bit proud.You know why?? Because my friends cant leave without me.Here's the story,I did not go to school for 2 days cause i was not feeling well,high fever. As soon as their back home from school, my hand phone will be ringing..calls n smses.I'm so lucky i have them.Eventually i wont pick up because i would be sleeping after taking the drugs.Our conversation will be like a mixture.1 minute being so nice to me and the other minute scolding me for not coming because they just miss me. I will just hear their voices, a smile on my cheek.For i know i have caring friends. Based on their stories in school when I'm not there, its so miserable. They sound so pathetic.All of them faces bad luck when I'm not there.Of course I'm not happy for that but the satisfaction i think. I do not even know why I'm blogging about this.I felt like sharing it. My friends are full with drama, new stories and new gossips.So fun being with them...being emo is not in the list.Full with laughter i could say.Each memory i have with them,i cherish the most. I only have 2 more years to have this laughter with my beloved friends.Then i do not know whether i will still have friends calling me when I'm sick or sad.

SCOLDING DAY

I do not know how to express it but its something like stress but its not. I just feel like I'm sitting in a corner thinking what is going to happen in future, will it always be like this?? Cant bare it! gonna explode! Today in school, full day scolding and each of the subject all got homework and must hand in tomorrow. I have school then i have to stay back then finish homework..by the time i finish my homework it be dusk. So hectic...I'm exhausted with this new experience.To new to bare in fast. Basically i was like a chatterbox today, sitting and complaining about each and everything to myself like a mumbler. Mei mei sits beside me and she was wondering why was i acting so emo today. Even she admitted it was stressful and she stated that she likes stress.Whenever I'm mumbling like a desperate crazy woman,all she do is laugh.Felt like punching her face.I was too exhausted that whenever she spoke i told her to shut up because she will only increase my tension that i might just punch her seriously. The scoldings started of from add maths then lead on to biology.I was sick and tired of them scolding....bla bla ...u ah...u ah...it was like a tape recorder in my head. I felt so angry that when i came out from lab I did not wait for mei mei just kept walking and seeing the floor, then i saw my add maths teacher and pour out my anger to her . I did not know where the hell that courage came from but guess what she also was laughing.WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE???!! do i look like a clown??!!! I'm pouring out my anger and they end up laughing at me...what a day..Conclusion is when I'm angry i will keep on talking and mumbling and thinking about emotional things..i do not easily get mad but when I'm mad ..i just lose my head.

i forgive u

where do i begin?? Have you ever been disappointed with a friend you trust? well it happen to me recently. I have this friend, really really close to her. Our friendship is so special because our character and personality are almost alike.But there are few differences. Not many people like her character because she is known as the bitchy mouth but other than that she's a good friend. Well this friend of mine loves my best friend which is a guy. But cut short this love story is just a 1 way ticket. Unrequited love.She loves the guy. No feed backs from the guy.But they fight really commonly.So here comes the part that disappoints me.This girl went and told this another girl that my guy friend called her irritating.This another girl and my guy friend is also close friends. The thing is my guy friend never in his life called her irritating.So she made up the story cause she was being envious.So when this another girl knew about it she immediately text ed my guy friend. My guy friend was so angry because he did not do anything that he text ed my friend and scolded her like hell.I did not know anything about this until my guy friend told me. So the following day, i went to school and asked my friend. Here's the dialog that made my heart shattered into pieces :

me : weh, what did you say?
she : ( laughs ) oh..i told her that he said she's irritating.
me : But did he say that for real ?
she : ( laughs ) dunno la...( laughs )
my hand almost wanted to slap her at this moment
me : so...you just made up stories???
she : ya...i think. That's why i did not reply him. ( laughs )she was being so cool about it.
At that moment, i felt it was a sin looking at her face. I actually backed her up the day before when my guy friend was telling me the incident. I felt i betrayed him and instead i helped her.I knew him more than this girl. I felt like i was the bitch here. So when i came back home i immediately text ed him and said how sorry i was. I was very thankful to see the reply. He said it was not a big deal that he understands for all my actions.That i always do the right thing.I'm so glad that he understands me and his my friend.I even told him that i would never forgive her because she behave like a typical girl who will just do anything for a guy. But after listening to his advise, i realised. For now, I'm just going to chill.This girl is my friend.I will not back stab her.If she does anything wrong or stupid, as a friend i must advise her not run away from the problem.I'm just going with the flow now. Just being relax and not taking things very seriously.This is life. I love you guys....